This can be a SD, SSD, Deathstar, or planetary intercom

Sir we analyzed their attack plan, and have found a weakness in our defenses................

Here's one for a Star Destroyer:

"Umm.. yeah.. That big button marked [Self Destruct]... I'm not supposed to touch that, am I?" ....BOOM!!!....

"Is that?...." "An asteroid that is impossible to avoid heading straight for our unsheilded bridge? Yep." "Private yer fired..." BOOM!

"Simon Says..."

WTF! Master Chief? What!!!?? I'm no Bru........... crack

Private, do u hear somethen?
no sir Colonel Sanders.
good.
SHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF was that?
dont no private, it sounded like........
like what!
oh nothen,
sir plzz tell me i dont want to die!
ok fine,
It sounds like the secret alarm i had installed on the station if ever the empire found out i was givein stuff to the rebellion and they were going to kill me for it by bring in the fleet or somethen.
Sir sir sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes luitenent?
the deathstar III and the entire Imperial fleet o over 1000 star desroyers has jumped with 20 minutes before they can fire on us? did we do somethen wrong?
Private, Luitenent, if u need me ill be on my secret ship on my way to the uknown regions.
do u think thatll stop them from finding you?
HELL NO!!!!,
but it should by me enough time to get away and let them blow up the station and think they killed me.
enjoy the rest of ur lives luitenent and private.

Pssssssst hey luitenet u awake?
(yawn) now i am, wat u want major?
we got a problem...
wat now?
u no how officers on Darth vader's ship the executor are always strangled?
yea
well i just got 2 notes for us....
wat did the say?
they were transfer orders for us to the executor.....
oh god! i dont want to die!
me niether, i got a plan luitenent.
wats that? we cause the ship to blow by activating the self destruct.
good idea lets go!
uh oh.............!
wat?!
your elbows..........!
wat about it.........?!
they're resting on the max volume and the internal ship speaker buttons....
crap! Run for it!!!

See! I told you you cant drink and pilot a star destroyer at the same time!

I am iron man! Bananananananaa- nugh nunh nunh!! OH! YES CAPTAIN! SORRY SIR!

Cum back 'ere bitch!